Unveiling the Realities of Taking Care of Mom
Written by:
Jeffrey Grossman
Published:
January 29th, 2024
Taking care of mothers and fathers in their old age is a significant life transition that many adult children encounter, but aren’t prepared for. In this blog, we discuss the realities of providing care for elderly parents, shedding light on the emotional, physical, and financial aspects that often remain hidden beneath the surface.
Additionally, we address a critical but often unspoken aspect of caregiving – Caregiver burnout. We aim to help you recognize the signs and symptoms of burnout and understand that seeking help isn’t a sign of failure or weakness, but a vital step toward ensuring the well-being of both you and your parent.
Finally, if you’re saying things like, “My elderly mother is consuming my life,” we offer a solution that can help restore your relationship with her.
The Hard Truth About Taking Care of Elderly Parents
Taking care of elderly parents can be one of life's greatest challenges, marked by a profound role reversal that few, if any, are prepared for. As children, we grow up relying on our parents for guidance, care, and support. However, as our parents age and become dependent due to their growing limitations, this dynamic can shift dramatically.
Adult children often feel emotionally torn as they watch this reality unfold. On one hand, they feel it’s their duty to start taking care of mom or dad. After all, that’s what their parents did for them. On the other hand, adult children grapple with their own lives, responsibilities, and aspirations.
They find themselves caught between the love and gratitude they feel for their aging parents and the strain of providing the necessary care, which has repercussions.
Emotional Toll: The emotional impact of witnessing a parent's decline, along with the demands of caregiving, often goes unaddressed. This can lead to increased stress and emotional burdens for family Caregivers.
Physical Challenges: Providing care can be physically demanding, leading to exhaustion and potential health issues for family Caregivers. Self-care and respite are crucial to prevent burnout, but it’s often ignored.
Financial Strain: For family Caregivers whose parent moves in with them, the costs of home modifications, daily living expenses of an elderly dependent, and unpaid time off from work spent caregiving, creates a significant financial burden.
Time Commitment: Caregiving is a full-time responsibility that leaves little time for yourself, your spouse and/or children, your friends, or other commitments and personal interests. This can result in feelings of isolation and burnout.
These challenges highlight the complex and multifaceted nature of caring for elderly parents. If the stress is building and you find yourself saying things like, “My elderly mother is consuming my life,” you’re not alone.
What Is Caregiver Burnout?
Caregiver burnout, also known as Caregiver stress syndrome, is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that can affect individuals who provide necessary care, often unpaid, to family members or loved ones. It typically results from the prolonged and overwhelming demands of caregiving without adequate support or relief.
Studies show that over 60% of Caregivers experience symptoms of burnout, such as:
Fatigue
Anxiety
Feeling overwhelmed
Social withdrawal
Neglecting personal health
Loss of interest in hobbies
Sleep disturbances
Difficulty concentrating
Resentment or anger toward the care recipient
Loss of patience
Increased caregiving-related stress
Decreased satisfaction in caregiving role
Please recognize that Caregiver burnout is not a sign of weakness or inadequacy.
Family Caregivers who experience burnout are often loving adult children who sacrificially support their elderly parents. However, unlike working a 9 to 5 job, caregiving is nonstop, especially if you’re living with your mom at home. Care is something you’re always giving, so if you don’t have the proper support systems in place to replenish you, you’ll be running on empty and eventually break down.
In addition to these symptoms, you may find yourself saying (or thinking) things like:
“Being a Caregiver is killing me.”
“My elderly mother stresses me out.”
“Caring for my elderly mother is killing me.”
“My elderly mother is consuming my life.”
“My mother's dementia is killing me.”
While these may seem like harsh words, they’re honest – and not uncommon. If you resonate with these phrases, you’re in good company. At Commonwise Home Care, we understand the hard truth about taking care of elderly parents and can help lighten the burden you’ve been carrying as a family Caregiver.
My Elderly Mother Is Consuming My Life: Find Relief With In-Home Care
Caring for an elderly parent is a selfless act of love, but it can be emotionally and physically draining. If you don’t know how to deal with a difficult mother who is elderly or you’re finally saying, “I need a Caregiver for my mother,” call Commonwise Home Care.
We specialize in providing premium in-home care for the elderly, enabling adult children to reclaim the familial relationship they had with their parents before becoming their Caregiver. With a deep understanding of the complexities of senior care, we create personalized care plans that meet your loved one's needs, while helping you restore balance in your life and family relationships.
Whether you’re searching for “24/7 senior care,” “temporary respite care,” or “part-time home care for my mom,” we can develop a solution that works best for you and your aging loved one.